I got curly fries with my chicken and they somehow tangled themselves up like headphones and I thought ‘fucked if I’m untying them’ so I’m just eating a big French fry knot.
*descends into sobbing over my tea and crumpets*.
My partner is in denial. He believes Jay survived and will return - I’m not so sure :-(.
WHY TROY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????
Wait. Wait. WAYT. People think I wear red lipstick to steal their boyfriends? Whaaaaat…
all these posts about wearing red lipstick to steal someone’s man, what about wearing red lipstick to leave on a beautiful girl’s thighs as you whisk her away because you are lesbians
"date a girl who reads!!", "brainy is the new sexy!", "bigger books are better than bigger boobs!"
oh shut the fuck up
date a person who makes you smile, who makes you snort soda out of your nose and still thinks your laugh is cute
not based on how many john green novels they’ve read or episodes of sherlock they’ve watched you petty little fucks
thank you. sincerely a girl who’s boyfriend gets asked how he copes listening to someone so ‘stupid and vapid’ all day.